It has been a month since I returned to SRQ.

 

I’m  back to making art, laboring in my studio, updating friends on my new role as “Grandma

Gale or “GG ” and  still struggling with sleep deprivation.  I don’t have that surge of energy that baby Caris gave me each morning and every night.   God knows, there is nothing like holding a newborn….she gives me strength and joy.  Just holding her in my arms, smelling her new skin fills me with peace.  I truly am missing those moments when life felt new! It is currently a barreling force of unpredictability!

             

              My dear friend, Frank, lost his lovely mother, Miss Ruby quite unexpectedly over the Summer; two old friends with whom I shared a life-long friendship passed away ;  and an amazing  woman who I admire a great deal for her tenacity to live, succumbed to her cancer yesterday but not before she raised her son and daughter to live without her and, yet  another vibrant friend is still fighting the good fight in light of a lousy prognosis. The loss of loved ones feels diminishing it creates  fear  and comprehension of my own mortality. This is when I fight the battle against the condition called “worry.”   To worry is such a waste of time!   I prefer to ask myself if I could do anything to change whatever is worrying me?  If I can, then, I do something and if I cannot I give the situation to the Universe to handle.  Certainly, I could not change the length of the lives of my friends or my family…or my own.

               I believe in order to feel grateful for one’s own  life you need to know how bad things could

be.   I am grateful for the Ross Family in L.A. and for my Art life in SRQ.  I am grateful for the ability to miss my youth, memories of  old friends from years gone by and to feel fearless  .  I work every day on being fearless.   Back in the day it was a natural state of mind for me.   Today, I am manifesting my fearlessness by writing the words.   I am fearless!

 All of the people I’ve lost these past weeks are deeply in-bedded in my heart and soul.   I will

live my life happily and fearlessly for them.  For l believe if they could they’d certainly choose to pay bills with joy,  drive in stop and go traffic listening to good music with a smile, share meals with loved ones and stare at a beautiful sunrise and sunset. I will continue to do it with them in mind until my time is up.

We all live for the people who we loved and whom have passed.  Remember them now with a smile. It will make you a better person today.    

 

I choose Life!   I choose Happiness!   I am Fearless!     I am Caris Marie’s “GG”.

 

 

Gale Fulton Ross

September 24, 2012